There are some types of screen narratives that probably shouldn’t be attempted with limited means, and “international spy thriller” might be one of them. This idea is illustrated by “Alarum,” which stars Scott Eastwood and Willa Fitzgerald as “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” former spies united in an under-the-radar home life interrupted by gun-toting reminders of their past. Michael Polish’s film valiantly attempts to make up for its unspectacular production values with plenty of action – but its theatrical presentation is pedestrian at best. Alexandre Vicha’s screenplay never convinces, and the competent actors fail to shine, despite the presence of Sylvester Stallone as a reluctantly reunited former colleague.
The prologue in 2019 Prague finds Joe (Eastwood) shooting through a window, then overpowering more attackers who include Lara (Fitzgerald). But somewhat confusingly, it appears that this brawl was staged so that the duo could exit their top-secret careers as globe-trotting secret agents, and disappear into civilian life together. Five years later, now newlyweds, they are honeymooning at a winter resort outside Gdańsk, trying to act “like normal people.” Unfortunately, they seem to be suspected of owning a flash drive that is much coveted by good, bad and obscure gamers all over the world. This was first indicated by the crash of a small plane in the vicinity of the woods, the occupants of which looked very much like hitmen who had just been professionally assassinated.
While strolling nearby with tourists, Joe has barely begun to wander around the ruins when he is surrounded by a small army of hostile mercenaries led by the ruthless Orlin (Mike Colter). Joe escapes and leads them on a machine gun-filled chase through the woods. Meanwhile, back at the resort, Lara does her best to prevent the guests and villagers from being slaughtered as these invading forces threaten all in their path. Two CIA-connected officials (D.W. Moffett and Mark Polish) were alerted to the situation from a distance, and had their own reasons for allowing the matter to go bloody rather than sending in cavalry. They’re already flying in Chester (Stallone), a former ally of Joe’s who’s now fully prepared to take him out if ordered to do so.
The complex plot, shifting allegiances, and some basics on “why exactly is this happening?” It’s hard to maintain our integrity, largely because we never get enough attention. The film is named after a fictional organization of rogue spies who “want to demolish the tyranny of the global intelligence network.” However, her presence remains just a rumor in Visha’s scenario.
Keeping his leads separate throughout most of the runtime, Polish runs them through knife fights, fist fights, gun fights, missile fights and more. Yet this physical feat neither has the visceral power of the “Bourne” films nor the awe-inspiring spectacle of the “Rambo” series, while it alternately aims to achieve both. It doesn’t help that some of the visual effects work that gets clicked is indefinite.
The former art director’s 2020 film “Force of Nature” presented another orgy of ammunition-firing destruction in a remote location. But its crisis-driven story was more authentic, and its characters more realistic. Here, we’re never convinced that the various characters behaving so cruelly are all that, let alone major players on a vast stage of multinational conspiracies.
Those who recently came off Fitzgerald’s murderous role in the sleeper indie hit “Strange Darling” will be disappointed because the role asks little of her outside of athleticism. She and Eastwood attempt a bantering dynamic that only undermines any pretense of mortal danger, while a tired Stallone and Arch Moffat sometimes seem to be joking over the material — which isn’t strong enough to withstand it.
By substituting rural Ohio locations for the main location in rural Poland, “Alarum” is busy and fast-paced enough to keep the viewer distracted, despite the occasional lull. But it’s not exciting, suspenseful, complex, or witty enough to fully engage you in the first place. The garish opening and closing credits sequences seem designed to depict a film whose grandiose journey is wilder than that managed by this modest, stubborn enterprise.
Lionsgate releases this watchable if forgettable genre exercise in US theaters as well as digital and on-demand platforms on January 17.